Lies

The truth sets us free, and lies ensnare, enslave and destroy us.  Just ask anyone who has been lied to or lied about by liars with bad intentions.  Everyone hates a liar, even liars because they know that lies are lethal.  In both the Christian and secular domains, lies have a damning effect.  But, lies can also have positive results.

Lies are intentionally false statements (Oxford Dictionary).  Lies even by its other names (deceptions, defamations, falsehoods, mendacities, denigrations, fabrications, dishonesties, misrepresentions, exaggerations) are perhaps, the worst devices used to destroy people.  Two months ago, I wrote about labels as "weapons of mass and self-destruction".  But in a competition for that title, lies win hands down.  In every form of mass evil, be it war, piracy, social injustice or mass murder, lies play a role somewhere.  In the quest for power, wealth and fame some people tell the worst lies.  And some individuals end up in failure and misery because of their self-deceptions.


According to the Bible, humankind's downfall began with a lie.  It describes how the devil, also called "the father of lies" disguised himself and lied to the first woman.  Lying continued through the ages.  We read how a man was tricked out of his blessings by his lying brother, Jacob.  Later, Jacob himself suffered the grief of believing that his favourite son, Joseph, was dead after Jacob received that lie from his other sons.  Joseph, who became the hero of the Hebrew people, was lied about by a lustful woman, and he was imprisoned for years because of it.  God highlighted lying as one of the vilest of sins when he explicitly forbade it in the Ten Commandments.  The book of Proverbs contain several warnings about lying.

The devil is also called "the accuser of mankind."  Liars love to accuse.  The Gospels describe how the Pharisees falsely accused Jesus and killed him.

Liars lie about people to ruin their reputations.  Liars sometimes accuse people of the things that they themselves do.  This happens in many close relationships.  In other contexts, people lie when they want to get others out of the way to take their jobs, relationships or property.  If the liar finds nothing to accuse their targets of, then they invent or exaggerate something.  And with the help of lying accomplices, they make their lies believable.  Liars like to isolate their victims and when they have lost all credibility, the liars move in for the kill.

People also lie about people to have an excuse for persecuting and killing them.  In the 1930s and 40s, the Nazis used this tactic against the Jews in Europe.  Here in Jamaica, there was the vilification of the Rastafarian community, which lasted well into the 1980s.  In the 1990s, the Serbs and the Hutus did the same thing before and during the Bosnian and Rwandan genocides, respectively.  Today, Islamic State (formerly known as ISIS) is doing the same thing in their war against "infidels."

Liars lie to people to exploit them.  People who have been tricked or trafficked into modern slavery were lied to.  People who have been defrauded of their savings were lied to.  People who have been lured into bad relationships and situations were lied to.  Recently, the BBC aired a story about a young woman who had been lured into ISIS by lies.  What she received instead was abuse from senior ranking ISIS members.  She escaped with her life but it is now in ruins with her reputation.  Such are the effects of lies.

People with low self-value were lied to by people with influence over them, especially in their formative years.  Without a high self-value, a person is more vulnerable to abuse and exploitation.  That is why pimps like to denigrate the people whose earnings they feed on.   Even if you have a high self-value, liars who want to exploit you will work long and hard to break you and delude you about who you are.   Never trust anyone who always has bad things to say to and about anybody.

But good people lie too.  The definition of lies as "intentionally false statements" does not speak to people's motives.  People with consequentialist worldviews would argue that lies are ethical as long as the motives and the results are honourable.  For example, if a lie results in the saving of innocent lives, the lie is pardonable, even commendable.  In Nazi Europe, many Jews escaped death because someone lied to the Nazis. Oskar Schindler, whose story was made famous in the film, Schindler's List, was credited with saving over 1000 Jews by outwitting the Nazis.   He lied to them.  Famous Rwandan genocide survivor, Immaculee Ilibagiza, wrote that she survived by hiding in the bathroom of a Hutu pastor for 91 days. When Hutu killers came hunting for Tutsis, that pastor lied to his Hutu countrymen to save Immaculee and the 7 others whom he had also hidden.

Everybody lies.  But I believe that good people do not lie as a way of life.  They lie out of necessity and for good reasons.   Always be wary of habitual liars.  They are often not easy to spot until the damage they intend is done.  Test all liars.  Perhaps our most effective tool is our God-given instincts that alert us when something is off about people and what they say and do.  We must observe and listen carefully to people and trust our gut feelings.  This is important because liars with evil motives are the enemies of justice and truth.  They will steal your prosperity, freedom, happiness and peace.

Dawn Marie Roper
Justice, Truth Be Ours Forever
August 4, 2017

Are Black Women Angry about Rejection from Rich Black Men?

So I was reviewing some of the things I had written in the past, when I came across an unpublished blog I prepared 4 years ago.  It had been inspired by a Yahoo story about Michael Jordan's marriage to his Cuban girlfriend, Yvette Prieto.  The comments had drawn my interest more than even the article and what some of them said really had me thinking.

@Mark: "Am I the only one to notice on TV, movies and commercials ... they have a lot of black males and white female couples, but not the other way around????  Why is the MEDIA doing it???  If I was a black woman, I would be @#$#!"

Mark's comments resonated with me.  As a black woman, how did I really feel about yet another prized, accomplished black man walking off with a "white" woman instead of a black one?  Not to mention the fact that Jordan had once been married to a black woman whom he had divorced some time before.  Yes, Mark.  As a black woman that had stung a little.  But I am asking myself why?  Interracial relationships are not unusual in my world.  My former boss, a Dutchman, is married to a black Jamaican woman.  I have a friend from Britain who has a black wife.  I, myself, had even dated a white man for a while back in the day.  So why was I stung at all by Jordan's marriage?  More on that later.

Here is what another person said about the issue:

@Hampton: "It is a sign of status and power among black males."

I think there is some truth to what Hampton said.  We know how much men value power.  Which race of men doesn't?  People chase power and status symbols in whatever form they come.  I am not saying it is right or wrong, but why shouldn't we expect black men to do the same.

But it was Jeff's comment that really got under my skin.

@Jeff: "Black women date/marry white guys as fast as they can.  It is usually the white guy - because of social pressures - who does not want to date them.  Black women are not loyal to black men.  Oh, yeah.  Some black women brag about dating white men like we are some kind of trophy.  Laugh and ask her how many times she went to HIS family's Thanksgiving."

That reminded me of a US magazine poll I had come across some years before.  It had concluded that black women aspired to marry white men in far greater numbers than white men are willing to marry them.  Sorry readers, I don't remember which magazine published that, but I had never forgotten what it said.  I didn't like that information, but I felt that I had no reason to doubt that it was pretty near to reality.  I believe it still is.  Just look at the frenzy many dark-skinned people get into to acquire "whiteness" and the symbols thereof.   Jeff said, "Black women are not loyal to black men."  I guess everybody is entitled to seek their own power and status symbols.

But back to my feelings about Michael Jordan's marriage to Ms Prieto (I think her last name means "ugly" in some parts of Latin America by the way.)  Why was I really ticked off about their marriage?  I was surprised at myself for feeling that way.  Why did I even care?  I had done some soul searching to try to find out.

Me: "Am I a racist?"

Soul: "Oh, no.  (At least I really hope not.)"

Me: "Do I have a crush on MJ myself?"

Soul: "No. But, you like his tenacity.  That is an attractive quality to you.  But you will never even meet him, so what is this really about?"

Me: "I don't know.  Could it be about his very light skinned Cuban bride?"

Soul: "It could be just about her."

Me: "Why??? I don't know anything bad about her so I don't have any reason to dislike her.  Am I just jealous?"

Soul: "No. (I think.)"

Me: "How would I feel if she were black?"

Soul: "You would say, 'Heh, heh!  You go girl."

Me: "Hmm.  Strange to feel a sense of triumph if a black woman marries a successful black man.  Why should that be?  It should not be unusual if a black man marries a black woman.  But that's a whole other topic."

Introspection is good, no matter what you find out and even if you find out nothing.

There was one more comment.  I loved it, so I had adopted it as my final comment on the matter.

@Tippyntj: "Geez, who cares, people.  Since when did this become a race issue?  Stop dissing Black women...stop dissing White women.  Ladies, ladies, ladies...have some respect for each other as women.  Who cares who loves who and what colour they are?  Focus on your own happiness and let others do as they please.  Look at you fools.  On Yahoo bick-bickering about black women/white women...what is this?  High school?"

Thank you, Tippyntj whoever you are.  "Bick-bickering?" I like your way with words.  Good times.  Some issues will never lose their relevance.  It is great to reminisce.

First written on April 28, 2013
Updated on August 3, 2017

Dawn Marie Roper
Justice, Truth Be Ours Forever.