Are Black Women Angry about Rejection from Rich Black Men?

So I was reviewing some of the things I had written in the past, when I came across an unpublished blog I prepared 4 years ago.  It had been inspired by a Yahoo story about Michael Jordan's marriage to his Cuban girlfriend, Yvette Prieto.  The comments had drawn my interest more than even the article and what some of them said really had me thinking.

@Mark: "Am I the only one to notice on TV, movies and commercials ... they have a lot of black males and white female couples, but not the other way around????  Why is the MEDIA doing it???  If I was a black woman, I would be @#$#!"

Mark's comments resonated with me.  As a black woman, how did I really feel about yet another prized, accomplished black man walking off with a "white" woman instead of a black one?  Not to mention the fact that Jordan had once been married to a black woman whom he had divorced some time before.  Yes, Mark.  As a black woman that had stung a little.  But I am asking myself why?  Interracial relationships are not unusual in my world.  My former boss, a Dutchman, is married to a black Jamaican woman.  I have a friend from Britain who has a black wife.  I, myself, had even dated a white man for a while back in the day.  So why was I stung at all by Jordan's marriage?  More on that later.

Here is what another person said about the issue:

@Hampton: "It is a sign of status and power among black males."

I think there is some truth to what Hampton said.  We know how much men value power.  Which race of men doesn't?  People chase power and status symbols in whatever form they come.  I am not saying it is right or wrong, but why shouldn't we expect black men to do the same.

But it was Jeff's comment that really got under my skin.

@Jeff: "Black women date/marry white guys as fast as they can.  It is usually the white guy - because of social pressures - who does not want to date them.  Black women are not loyal to black men.  Oh, yeah.  Some black women brag about dating white men like we are some kind of trophy.  Laugh and ask her how many times she went to HIS family's Thanksgiving."

That reminded me of a US magazine poll I had come across some years before.  It had concluded that black women aspired to marry white men in far greater numbers than white men are willing to marry them.  Sorry readers, I don't remember which magazine published that, but I had never forgotten what it said.  I didn't like that information, but I felt that I had no reason to doubt that it was pretty near to reality.  I believe it still is.  Just look at the frenzy many dark-skinned people get into to acquire "whiteness" and the symbols thereof.   Jeff said, "Black women are not loyal to black men."  I guess everybody is entitled to seek their own power and status symbols.

But back to my feelings about Michael Jordan's marriage to Ms Prieto (I think her last name means "ugly" in some parts of Latin America by the way.)  Why was I really ticked off about their marriage?  I was surprised at myself for feeling that way.  Why did I even care?  I had done some soul searching to try to find out.

Me: "Am I a racist?"

Soul: "Oh, no.  (At least I really hope not.)"

Me: "Do I have a crush on MJ myself?"

Soul: "No. But, you like his tenacity.  That is an attractive quality to you.  But you will never even meet him, so what is this really about?"

Me: "I don't know.  Could it be about his very light skinned Cuban bride?"

Soul: "It could be just about her."

Me: "Why??? I don't know anything bad about her so I don't have any reason to dislike her.  Am I just jealous?"

Soul: "No. (I think.)"

Me: "How would I feel if she were black?"

Soul: "You would say, 'Heh, heh!  You go girl."

Me: "Hmm.  Strange to feel a sense of triumph if a black woman marries a successful black man.  Why should that be?  It should not be unusual if a black man marries a black woman.  But that's a whole other topic."

Introspection is good, no matter what you find out and even if you find out nothing.

There was one more comment.  I loved it, so I had adopted it as my final comment on the matter.

@Tippyntj: "Geez, who cares, people.  Since when did this become a race issue?  Stop dissing Black women...stop dissing White women.  Ladies, ladies, ladies...have some respect for each other as women.  Who cares who loves who and what colour they are?  Focus on your own happiness and let others do as they please.  Look at you fools.  On Yahoo bick-bickering about black women/white women...what is this?  High school?"

Thank you, Tippyntj whoever you are.  "Bick-bickering?" I like your way with words.  Good times.  Some issues will never lose their relevance.  It is great to reminisce.

First written on April 28, 2013
Updated on August 3, 2017

Dawn Marie Roper
Justice, Truth Be Ours Forever.